CATCH PHRASES, LOOPHOLES & HERESIES
I must admit I hit a 5 pm meeting, but not until 5:25 pm. If you walk in late it’s not kosher to share. I wouldn’t have anyway. The topic wasn’t controversial enough. Besides, I find myself just listening for catch phrases, loopholes and heresies. It gives AA a whole new spin for me; especially if I’m just killing time during rush hour and waiting on a 7:30 pm movie. I even got out in time to get my drug test done. Negative. They’re counting on a relapse. AA and the law. Non-compliance is keeping me sober today… with AA and the law. I can tell some of the guys with time just squirm when I come in the door. They know if I share it will be “by the Book” and historically valid, thus they can’t cross talk me without sounding like ignorant assholes. Plus, the chicks, brothers and gay guys dig me. And that’s a majority by minority.
Yeah, the last time I was in court I carried a sandwich/quarter oz. baggy in my suit pocket filled with clean piss from right after I got out of treatment 5 days prior. It was a 28 day program. I stayed clean for an hour and 23 minutes after departure. It would have probably been shorter if I had a car. My “tough love minus love” siblings had let the air out of my tires per the instructions of the numbskull recovery coach who had already disconnected the battery and alternator after taking my credit cards, ATM, driver’s license and keys. They even hid the riding lawn mower in some undetermined location. They took my TV, stereo, studio gear, guitars, computers, even pictures off the wall. I came home to a vacant house. Who wouldn’t get high? Anyway, I pissed in a bottle, stored it in the fridge and figured out how to get across town to the man. Do they really think they can outsmart a crackhead? Hell, I should be on the payroll of the CIA as a mentor for covert operations. If Obama Bin Laden had crack I’d find him in 15 minutes. War over. Our country is safe again. Thanks, Cracker. The judge ordered me to be drug tested during open court. They took me across the street to the jail house where the drug tests are done. I had my baggy and just knew I was gonna test “negative”. Unfortunately, the cop was given special instructions to be inside the bathroom when I pissed. I asked him to look the other way because I had a shy bladder. Fuck, he kept looking. I finally just pissed and I tested “radioactive”. The judge seemed tickled. My proponents were disappointed and said I betrayed them. Betrayed?By a crackhead? Were they expecting Colin Powell? He couldn’t find Bin Laden.
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